Sunday, July 13, 2014

Reader's Mail: How Do I Stop My Best-friend's Father From harassing Me Sexually?


Dear Happy,
I am a regular reader of your blog and I like the work you are doing with it. I read your recent reader's mail on sexual harassment and I thought to share my experience with you and your readers because it is similar.
I have been friends with my best friend for 7 years now and the dad literally watched me grow up. He has always seen me as his daughter and treated me as such. However, the situation changed last year and he started seeing me differently. He has been harassing me to sleep with him and this is almost putting a strain on my relationship with my best friend.

He calls me and begs me to sleep with him. Whenever I visit my friend while he's around and she steps out for a second, he attempts to touch my boobs or kiss me. I find this very annoying and I have reduced my visits to the house as a result of this. My friend has noticed this and is asking me why I I don't come as often but I really don't know what to tell her. I have told her dad on several occasions that I cannot do it because my conscience would not allow me to do that to my friend plus I don't do old and married men but he is still persistent. I love my friend so much and would not want to lose her or cause any tension within her family. I am stuck in this situation and don't know what to do. I have thought of telling my friend about it but her dad threatens that I will be the biggest loser because he will always be my friend's dad and I am just a friend. I could tell my friend and I know she will believe me but I don't want her to lose the relationship she has with her dad over this issue.
Please how do I get out of this unbearable situation and stop my friend's dad from bothering me without anyone getting hurt in the end? I really need your suggestion. Thank you.
I will try to remain happy like you always say and please keep up the good work.


Amaka


HUB's Reply

Dear Amaka, 
I am very sorry that you have to go through this. Reducing the visits is good but like you said, you don't want to lose your friend. So if I were you, I would rather speak to my friend about it in front of the dad if after series of warnings the dad does not stop. So maybe you should think about calling a meeting and discuss the issue or stop visiting your friend at home. 
I hope this helps but if it doesn't pray about it. All the best and remain happy. Xoxo. 

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

as hard as it is
you will have to tell your friend about this
confronting the father without telling her may leave you alone as she may feel you betrayed her
Cos at the end of the day, that IS her father

Anonymous said...

When you tell your friend, you are driving a wedge between her and her father. If your friend thinks her father is a saint, you will alter the respect that child has for her parent forever. Stop going there. It is that simple. Start chilling in public places with your friend. You should not hang with people who make you unhappy-Newyorker