"....being a gentleman is not Nigerian"

Sorry happy people for the late post, it is the situation in Lagos. Today's post is about a debate I was involved in. Someone claimed that being a gentleman is not Nigerian and African. I think that is a terrible excuse. What do you guys think about it? Read the story after the cut


I was trying to get my sanity back after the torture of driving in Lagos traffic, so I decided to take a nap. I am all cosy and enjoying my sleep which felt so heavenly and then I am interrupted by the sound of my phone. It is a phone call. I pick up the phone and said ‘hello’ with so much effort and it was the voice of a friend who I was supposed to have lunch with at 1pm. Why is the call only coming at 4pm if the lunch was at 1pm? (3 hours later) I asked myself while the call was going on. The call finally ended with me being asked to come out for the ‘lunch’ turned dinner. The thought of leaving my cosy bed and getting out at after 4pm (Lagos peak hour) was not fun at all. ‘I am not sure when I will be able to see him again’, I thought. That thought made me overlook the lateness and decided to go. That turned out to be a mistake.

Firstly, I expected to be picked up because I thought everyone knew this. Clearly I was mistaken because this one didn't. We debated over that for a while on the phone. I don’t know if this happens to only me, but I get people ask me to drive to everywhere just because I can access a car and I simply don’t get it. Why do I have to be the one to drive in traffic and not you? I am the lady here and should be treated as such! Anyway, long story short, we crossed the bridge of getting picked up; the next one was bringing me back to my house. This opened up an entirely new debate about my not being African. What I heard was, “just because you live abroad don’t mean you should forget where you come from”. “Where do I come from?” I asked. I can’t stand it when people use being Nigerian as an excuse to behave a certain way. Do you need to be a non-Nigerian to know how to be a gentleman? Does being Nigerian mean not knowing how to treat a lady? These are just some of the questions that I asked him and never got any reasonable answer. I am certain there are many Nigerians who know how to treat a lady (like my ….)

I think that using nationality as an excuse to behave a certain way is very pathetic. It is much easier and honorable to just do things the right way than debating over how African or Nigerian you are.  You need to first of all be a man and human before being African or Nigerian and treating people right makes you all of that and more. It is unfortunate that there is no school to go and learn that and like I will always say, it is best to learn from a lady. If you have the mentality that a lady should not be treated with all courtesy, you need to come back from the 1200s era and join us in the real world of late modernism so you don’t get left behind. Being a gentleman doesn't cost anything.

Remain happy and spread happiness around.

Photo credit: pinterest.com