Why being friends with your ex is unhealthy

When you meet someone, you depend so much on the person and losing that person becomes difficult to deal with. I am being real now, why should I be friends with someone who is my ex. He clearly gained that status for a reason and no one should forget that. It is mid-week and I thought to give you my lovely opinion on relationship. I hope you enjoy reading this people and no, I ain’t perfect but I try my best lol...

An Ex is an Ex for a Reason

Have you found yourself separated from a partner but you can’t simply move on? Are you still calling up that ex and stalking him on social media just because you can’t get over him even though he treated you so badly? You are probably telling yourself that he still loves you and will always do. If you feel this way, don’t be ashamed of it because you are not alone.

A lot of people especially women feel the same way as you and find themselves in similar situations. There’s always that one person that you can’t seem to get out of your mind no matter how hard you try. It is even more difficult if your current partner isn’t doing enough to make you forget the past. You could be so stuck in the past that you are unable to see the amount of effort your present partner is putting into trying to make you happy.

After years of breakup you are still calling your ex and justifying it by saying “it’s just a friendly phone call, we are not enemies after all”. What I often ask people when they use such an excuse to justify their action is, “why do you have to be friends or friendly with your ex?” I simply don’t get it. I am not saying you should be enemies but why friends? It took me a while to admit that my ex is not and should not be my friend. You can be civil with an ex, say hello when you see one another in public places but there’s simply no need to be blasting his phone with calls in the name of trying to be friends. If he left you or you left him, why try to be friends?

The problem with continuing to be in your ex’s life is that it stunts your growth as an individual. You are unable to grow emotionally and as a result, you deny yourself the opportunity of being loved by someone else and loving someone else. Even though you try to have other relationships, your attachment to your past (ex) interferes with your current relationship and you end up hurting yourself and the present person in your life. Besides stunting your emotional growth, you are also causing your ex and his new partner problems because your phone call may cause tension in the relationship and deprive your ex of happiness in his new relationship.

Ok, before you go on to say the current partner is insecure, pause and think for a moment; is s/he really insecure or are you just problematic. If you really love your ex, you should give him the opportunity to have peace and enjoy his new relationship and you should also learn to love yourself as much as giving yourself the opportunity to grow emotionally. Give yourself the opportunity to feel love again. If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you with. Finally, think about why that ex is an ex because that will help you to set your priorities right. After all, if s/he was that good, s/he wouldn’t be an ex therefore an ex is an ex for a reason, never forget that.

From me to you: you have the power over your emotions, don’t let anything or anyone take that away from you. Remain happy. xoxo