Infidelity: " Can the beauty of the present suppress the pain of the past?"

 

A friend once said to me, "I see you really don't forgive, neh?" in the middle of a conversation about falsity / cheating in relationships. At impulse, I said yes. Then I thought about it and rephrased it in a more appropriate way, "no it’s not that I don't forgive, I just don't know how to forgive cheating". I really don't know if anyone does. No, I don't mean staying in the relationship. Rather, I mean staying and keeping things the way they used to be prior to the sick event. I would really like to know from anyone who has done this how they do it. How do you carry on with all that information and betrayal? Some people say you just have to forgive and move on. But how doable is this? I concluded by telling my friend that I probably haven't met anyone who's able to make me forgive (even that I'm not sure) or maybe a better way of putting it would be someone who can help me deal with the memory.

#LagosLessons: Some Nigerian twitter users dish out important Lagos life lessons

Omg! This hashtag on twitter is cracking me up. Some twitter users have decided to give out tips on how to survive in Lagos and some of them are really funny but so true! So hey, you planning a Lagos trip, you might wanna have a look. All my friends that are talking to me every day about Lagos holiday, this is vital hey. Check out more with #Lagoslessons on twitter.

Anyway, stay happy lovelies and enjoy your weekend. Xoxo. See more below....

"Cutting your hair this low as a woman is not part of the Nigerian culture"?

Beautiful people, I'm so sorry about my continued absence here. I have nothing to say more than life happened out here and I've been living the life. Anyway, I think now that I'm finally able, I should address this. Please what's the big deal with a lady wearing her hair natural and low? I'm really not sure what the deal is with a lady choosing to cut her own hair off. I decided to take that route a few months back and I haven't had the last of it till today. First, I walked to the barber's shop and asked for a haircut but the barber opted for a lecture on Nigerian culture blah blah blah. He literally spent over twenty minutes scolding / advising me not to forget my roots / culture. My question to him was, "don't you see girls around here with short hair" and he confidently told me, "yeah I do but they're from here and it's their culture and not yours". I was in shock! This was the most appalling thing I had heard in forever. 

Like seriously, what's this about short hair isn't a Nigerian thing? Like the barber's lecture wasn't enough, my friends who saw the picture on my bbm took their turn. They blasted me with questions about why I cut my hair. Most of them literally felt so sorry for me like I had some problem. I was / still dazed. I didn't understand the whole drama around my haircut. I finally went back home for holiday and more drama awaited me there.

I really need someone to tell me I'll see you again somehow....

 

Happy people, y'all know that it's always a great feeling to meet new people right? Well, I think it's the best feeling and I couldn't keep it to myself so yeah, read and enjoy below. I know it's got the most boring title but let's just ignore it, yeah? If it awakens some feelings in you, please do share with me (smiles)... 
"Hello beautiful, you look extremely beautiful.” I have never seen this much beauty in one person" interrupted my BBM chat with a friend in Lagos. Yes I was that bored. I looked up and a gentleman squeezed into a white shirt and pant was standing before me. "Okay Happy, put your game face on and be polite" I said to myself.

It was my friend's work function. The theme was 50's and that means 50's music too. Everyone who knows me know I love old school music but I realised on Friday night that 50's isn't that old school for me.

My friend was in her zone and was socialising happily like a chained dog let loose. The music, lights and people all around me but I was bored outta my mind. You see, I was invited and not forced at gun point. So I just had to be all smiles to please my friend. I smiled at intervals even at nothing just to fool my friend that I was having a blast. Was she fooled? I doubt it.

Interesting satire: "Who released, killed and ate our Lion?" - Reuben Abati

 

Usually I try as much as possible to stay off things like this for personal reasons but I really couldn’t ignore this one. This interesting satire will surely get you thinking while you laugh! For some of you who may think this is too long, I think so too but it’s definitely worth the read. Can we blame the people in Jos who enjoy Lion as bush meat when humans are also enjoyed as bush meat in Nigeria? Anyway please enjoy the piece below…

Did they send you your own share of the bush meat?”

“Bush meat?”

“The lion in the zoo that became bush meat in Jos”

“What’s my own inside? I don’t know any zoo worker in Jos and how could a lion that was allowed out of its cage and got shot end up in my stomach. The kind of things you say sometimes.”

“That means you have not been following the story.”

“It is an animal tale”

“Created, concocted and delivered by animals in human skin, working in animal kingdom, telling us animal tales. What surprises me is the fact that there has been no public uproar, no outrage.”

“People are too busy thinking of how to survive as human beings, how to fight the current nationwide epidemic of empty pockets and stomachs, and survive the change in their lives.”

“But when a similar incident occurred at the Hwange National Park in Zimbabwe, there was serious outrage all over the world. Dr. Palmer, the American who killed the lion was the target of abuse and attacks. He even had to shut down his dental office. There were calls for his prosecution.”

Someone please take me back to the days when eating was fun!!

 

I remember those days perfectly – the days when one could enjoy a nice meal without worrying about calories blah blah blah. Most of us who love food looked forward to meal times. I looked forward to the delicious and yummy afang soup and fufu, jollof rice and turkey, ekpang, rice and fish stew. I don’t even remember some of them anymore (yes it’s that bad).

What ever happened to those days? Oh those were happy days indeed! Days free of anxiety and stress. I miss those days - the days when being skinny was worrisome to you, your family and even strangers. Being skinny was definitely a sign of malnutrition. We took multi vitamins to help us eat. Now we take things to supress the appetite and make us forget food.

Oh I know what happened! MTV and social media happened to us! Thanks to them we all now wanna look like that model or celebrity we see in music videos without even considering our body structure. I read on twitter the other day that a lady in Ghana collapsed in the mall because she took waist training to another level by wearing four waist trainers at the same time. The question my friends and I asked was, “but why four?” we couldn’t understand it. It just goes to show how far some people are willing to go with this whole perfect body thingy. That’s just one in many extreme cases of this fitness craze. My friend Lil goes days without eating real food. How did we all get here? The media has constructed an ‘ideal’ notion of beauty in size 0 individuals and we have all accepted it without any questions.

Why should you accept your flaws if you can change them?

I’m so in love with my body and in Mary J’s voice I say, “I like what I see when I'm looking at me when I'm walking pass the mirror”. “Gosh! She’s so vain!” this is what some of my friends think. Others think I am obsessed with fitness, I need to slow down before people think I am sick, men like a little more flesh. Maybe they are right but I really couldn’t care less. This is strictly about me. And with regards to men liking more flesh, that’s really the least of my problems. I am the last woman on earth that cares about what men like and I don’t need any man to ok my actions. There is absolutely nothing wrong with healthy living. Actually. I really think everyone should be part of it. Life is really too short and death is something we cannot control. However, we can definitely control how we live.

"It is like there’s a badge of wickedness on the forehead of our politicians" - Etcetera

Happy people, I am sure most of you read or have heard that the federal government have decided to ban the importation of the famous “I better pass my neighbour generators. I am not sure what this is meant to achieve or is there 24hr power supply in Nigeria now? Anyway, Etcetera has something interesting to say in this piece and you should read it below… 

Dear President Buhari, I will like to extend an invitation to you for a tour of down town, so that you can have a clear view of what the people who voted you into office feel about certain decisions your government has taken so far, especially the decision to ban ‘I-pass-my-neighbour generator’.

Contrary to the picture your advisers have painted to you, the decision to ban ‘I-pass-my neighbour’ generators will only bring more hardship to the people down here who have never in any way, benefitted from the Nigerian government at any time. The little hope that your “change” mantra brought to the poor man is fast becoming another tale in the book of presidential lies.

So, for you to really understand the ramification of your decision, I urge you to come for a quick tour of down town. Don’t worry sir; it won’t cost you a thing. We will ensure that your visit is as comfortable as we can. Yes, we know you don’t take ‘shepe’ or ‘mishango’ or ‘Ghana root’ mixed with ‘draw-draw’. But don’t worry, we will have enough pure water available for you to cool your feet, wash your face and quench your thirst.

I ain't feeling guilty and it's refreshing!

It’s a beautiful day in the Cape of Good Hope and I am laying on my sofa doing nothing but watching the music channel. There’s something weird about this though – I ain’t feeling guilty and it feels refreshing. You know I have been extremely hard on myself for a while now. My thesis got me stressing like it’s the end of the world and I don’t even know why. The damn thing wasn’t that difficult to write anyway. It really wasn’t rocket science hey. So why was I stressing about it so much then? Good question!

Anyway, this whole thing has taught me a valid lesson about life and stress. Why do we stress so much about exams, thesis, job interview, blah blah blah? In the end, it is what it is. What needs to be done has to be done. I spent months stressing about a damn thesis that only needed to be written. That anxiety literally blocked my ability to do anything else, let alone have any idea that I thought was worth writing down. It was horrible.

#Feesmustfall: University students in South Africa stage a nation wide protest in demand of 0% fee increase

I am extremely busy with thesis and other things but I really couldn't help taking a break to blog about this. Oh dear! I'm so so proud of South African students for this brevity. It all started small at the University of Wits and I bet no one knew it would metamorphose into a nation wide protest. I have really not watched this much news in a while! 

The students have taken to the streets and seat of power to express their dissatisfaction about university tuition fee increase with a hope that their voices will be heard. They are demanding a 0% increase and possibly free education come 2016 and beyond. The protest in currently in its second week and is intensifying. Universities across the country have also been shut down and exams postponed as this is happening during exams period.

I really didn't expect this massive turn out of protesters and I must say, the unity is quite admirable. 

Yeah I am an international student and all that and as some people have said, this doesn't concern me. I would just like to clarify this, I really shouldn't be expecting free education from another country while the leaders in my so called country care nothing about education. I think it is highly unreasonable to expect something like that and for those of you that do, I'll say this to you, go and demand for that in your own country the same way South Africans are doing! Don't come here with your complains about "South Africans love trouble", "Can they please allow me write my exams and leave cus the fee issue don't concern me" blah blah blah. Please guys keep screaming until your leaders hear you and give you access to your rights. Shut down the country if you want and ensure your protest is not in vain. Education is a right not a privilege abeg. #Feesmustfall #Nationalshutdown is the way to go! Amandla!!!

Please stay safe guys and stay happy. Xoxo

Flash back Friday: Happy chills with late MC LOPH

 
Happy people, you don't know how much I have missed blogging omg!! I was actually online doing a research for my academic work and stumbled on blogging (lol). To all you lovely readers out there that have been asking me questions and sending in messages, I really appreciate it. Gosh I hate school! I just had to let that out. Errr contrary to what you may think, yes I am still very passionate about formal education but I have my moments.

Anyway, it's the end of the year and as you can imagine, due dates for thesis blah blah blah. It is well. I shall return to blogging fully as soon as I give that final copy to my supervisor. In the meantime, I hope you don't mind having a laugh with these videos from my archives. And for those of you that didn't know, yeah I've got presenting skills (*wink*). Aww I miss this guy who was so full of life. Anyway, will upload them for flashbacks every now and then. Please stay happy beautiful people and share it with the world. Xoxo. Oh! And keep me in your prayers that I finish with an excellent pass pls. Dankie! Enjoy the video below

Happy hangs out with King of the Zanga Durella

HUB random post: laughter is food for the soul

How is your Sunday going beautiful people? It's a Sunday evening and just like any other day, I am drowning in books and that's the story of my life. For those of you that have been asking about why I have been missing on social media, I am busy with a very interesting research project and it is taking up my whole time. However, I am certain that this too shall pass. Anyway, I took a little break to relax my brain and came across really funny things and as always couldn't laugh alone. So please have a laugh beautiful people because life aint that serious after all. Stay happy. Xoxo. More below

Oh my! Man slits throat of all four children?

Wow! The above is a picture of a bereaved mother who lost all four children in one day thanks to a man she loves. This has got to be the most horrific thing I have read! A man in Limpopo, South Africa allegedly slit the throat of his four children just because he had a fight with his wife. Oh wow! How far can humans go in being wicked though? Murdering innocent children over nothing? This is why I will never understand how this romantic love of a thing works. Did he do this to spite the mother of the children or to show how much he loved her? Lord have mercy! I’m still in shock.

Anyway, read the story below and stay happy. xoxo...

Polokwane - A Limpopo father who allegedly slit the throats of his four children forced the youngest one to phone his mom while it was happening.

His wife, Loraine Nkoana, 37, said she and her husband had a fight but she was under the impression it had been resolved after an uncle stepped in and mediated.

The wife, speaking in Sepedi, said she started getting abusive phone calls from him on Sunday while he was driving from Gauteng to Limpopo with their four sons, aged 13, 10, 6, and 4.

He called her and told her to say goodbye to them.

"He said to me, 'don’t you have last words to tell your children?', and I said, 'I don’t - because there is nothing that will end their lives,' and he hanged up the phone,” she told transport and security MEC Mapula Mokaba-Phokwana who visited her at her home on Monday.

‘I could hear children screaming’

HUB quote of the day!

This is simply classic

Inspirational photo of the day!

Talk about dedication and commitment! I need to save this in my brain to constantly remind myself that it is possible. Weight loss can feel like such a hassle hey. I literally struggle with this whole thing but it gets frustrating when the weight won't just drop. I only wish there was a way to eat what I like and still lose weight. Anyway, giving up isn't an option for me. I have to keep pushing until I get to where I wanna be. If she can do it, I surely can do it too! Well done babes for the journey.

Beautiful people, you out there trying to lose weight? Nothing is impossible so keep at it and enjoy it while you are at it. Fitness should be a lifestyle and like they say, if you don't like something, change it. Stay happy and have a great week. Xoxo

The wives of the late Ooni of Ife are to remain single or be 'inherited' by new Ooni?

Inherited you know! In this day and age? No matter how progressive the world goes, I have a feeling Nigeria will remain the same. We hide behind tradition to continue treating women like properties. I have been reading very disturbing things since this Ooni's death but this is the most disturbing one really. I don't even know how women in Nigeria can demand to be treated right when most of them subscribe to this whole patriarchal nonsense. Okay Happy, calm down and breathe. Please read full story below and then tell me why I shouldn't be mad...

The wives of the late‎ Ooni of Ife, Oba Okunade Sijuwade, the Olubuse II, by tradition cannot re-marry after the demise of their husband, according to a palace chief.

The chief, who preferred not to be named, said the order was prescribed by the Ife tradition since the Ooni is not considered dead but to have transited to a higher realm.

Maintaining that the Ooni still lives, he said it is forbidden for wives left behind by Oba Sijuwade to re-marry.

HUB random post just for laughs (lol)

 

Happy people, I hope you are having a great weekend. They say laughter is good for your health and it actually increases your life span and because I don’t wanna live alone on this earth, I just had to share this abeg. Please guys have a laugh and for those of you with no sense of humour, please forgive me and move along. 

Don’t forget to stay happy beautiful people. Xoxo. More after cut...

""Change' is a mirage sold to us by Buhari to get our votes" - Etcetera on Buhari's presidency

I really thought I was the only one that had reservations about this whole President Buhari due process. Etcetera says it all in this piece. Even the whole “We will defeat Boko Haram in 3 months” popular headline became “Nigerians should not expect magic with Boko Haram” (lol). Anyway, please read the rest below. Enjoy!

“I believe if Nigeria does not kill corruption; corruption will kill Nigeria. I pledge to publicly declare my assets and liabilities and encourage my political appointees to also publicly declare their assets and liabilities.” – President Buhari (during his campaign).

Now, the presidency through the presidential spokesman has said the promise of asset declaration wasn’t made by Buhari but his political party. Jeez! These people just think say we be mumu sha… dem think say everybody for naija dey suffer from dyslexia. Shebi na dem preach say Buhari na modest man with just two houses and 150 cattle? They also said Buhari and Osinbajo have declared their assets, and it is deposited with the code of conduct bureau and the only thing needed is just verification by the bureau? How many months does the Code of Conduct Bureau need to verify an asset of two houses and 150 cattle? Nawa ooo!!! Naija una don see una sef? Is this the “change?”

Please what's this thing about "men are wired that way"?

“Why men cheat” has been a popular topic in many online discussions for a couple of weeks now. Many people have given their various opinions but of the many lame reasons I read, two infuriated me more. One reason is, “men cheat because they are wired that way”. The article even went on to advise women to stop complaining and deal with it.

Now this is one thing that I refuse to understand. Why are women expected to accept it? Bad is bad and cannot become good just because it has been normalised in the society. When people say men are wired that way I often ask questions like, wired by who or by what? Were they created without a conscience or a sense of responsibility? Do they lack the ability to distinguish between right and wrong? I’m certain the answer is NO! So what is this story about being wired that way?