I ain't feeling guilty and it's refreshing!

It’s a beautiful day in the Cape of Good Hope and I am laying on my sofa doing nothing but watching the music channel. There’s something weird about this though – I ain’t feeling guilty and it feels refreshing. You know I have been extremely hard on myself for a while now. My thesis got me stressing like it’s the end of the world and I don’t even know why. The damn thing wasn’t that difficult to write anyway. It really wasn’t rocket science hey. So why was I stressing about it so much then? Good question!

Anyway, this whole thing has taught me a valid lesson about life and stress. Why do we stress so much about exams, thesis, job interview, blah blah blah? In the end, it is what it is. What needs to be done has to be done. I spent months stressing about a damn thesis that only needed to be written. That anxiety literally blocked my ability to do anything else, let alone have any idea that I thought was worth writing down. It was horrible.

 

Yeah my supervisor challenged me with a fairly new area of research with very limited literature. He said to me, “I know you can do it, actually you are the only one I strongly believe can get this done”. Hmmm talk about believing in someone even when you don’t even believe in yourself. I left his office that day with mixed feelings and seriously, not with that much confidence. Those words of his tormented endlessly. For me, it was more pressure to meet his expectations. The pressure or the new area with limited literature, I am not sure which stressed me more.

The deadline was getting closer and the pages were still blank. I consoled myself with my favorite line, “I always meet deadlines” (it’s true though). The stress level kept increasing and my health was paying for it. The smell of the coffee finally woke me up and I got to work. In just a couple of weeks my first draft was ready and I just couldn’t understand what I was really stressing about. I suppose as humans we spend so much time stressing over things instead of finding ways to get them done. The day I picked up my computer and started writing, everything came together. Life is all about starting something.  Oh wow! How did we get here? This post was supposed to be about a totally different topic. Anyway, it’s all good. I guess my therapy has begun then. And yes I miss blogging and can’t wait to be back fully. To my loyal readers, forgive me in advance if my posts will be too much about me. This is like a therapy for me. I hope some aspects resonate with you too.

Please stay happy beautiful people and share it with the world too. Xoxo